Gender Stupidity
by weirdnessup211
Summary: One day, Sonic and friends wake up to find that they're all the opposite gender. A parody of such fics, this is focused on pointing out things that don't make sense, as well as making stupid jokes. Not to be taken seriously under any circumstances.
1. Chapter 1

_**Just a note to everyone reading: Just because I write about something, doesn't mean I like what I write about. It's weird, yes, but sometimes it's fun to write something you don't like, because you can think of a new - and perhaps interesting - way to do it. This is one of those times.**_

_**_Incredibly short first chapter, because it's really just an introduction. Next starts the stupid jokes and stuff._**  
><em>

* * *

><p>Waking up, Sonic felt... Strange. He couldn't quite place his finger on what was different, other than that his body felt weird.<p>

Sonic stretched, getting up off of Tails' couch in... Workshop # 48, he remembered. Why Tails insisted on having at least two workshops in every country, he'd never know. _Wouldn't just one do?_ Sonic thought, walking to the bathroom, _The kid flies as fast as I run... Never more than five hours away from anywhere._

As he was showering, Sonic still felt weird. The water was hitting him differently than it usually did. He supposed it was probably the effects of the big ray that Eggman had hit them all with, whatever those were.

Sonic turned off the shower, and went to look in the mirror.

The first thing Sonic noticed was that he had gained eyelashes. The second thing he noticed was that his chest was... shaped differently. It wasn't a huge difference, but Sonic knew what had happened: He had been turned into a girl.

He screamed.


	2. Chapter 2

Tails was jolted awake by the sound of Sonic screaming, and fell down. _Maybe I should stop sleeping upright,_ Tails thought, as he ran through his workshop to the source of the screaming. He threw the bathroom door open, to see a female blue hedgehog staring at the reflection in the mirror.

"Ack! Tails... Umm..."

"Sonic?" Tails asked, recognizing the voice, "What happened to you?"

"I don't know! I woke up like this! Oh, great... I need clothes..."

"Sonic, I can get clothes for you. Don't worry, big bro!"

"Thanks, little bro..." Sonic sighed in relief, "You know, for a second I thought you might suddenly fall in love with me..."

Tails covered his mouth, "Excuse me, I need to barf."

Sonic moved out of the way so that Tails could reach the toilet.

"And the fact that you're my bro makes that idea even worse than me having a girlfriend... Stop reading fan fiction, Sonic." With that, Tails flew out of the workshop, leaving Sonic to wonder what to do. He decided to call Knuckles, who somehow had a phone on Angel Island.

The phone rang a few times before Knuckles picked up.

_"Not now, Sonic."_

"What's wrong with right now?"

_"I'm busy!"_ Knuckles hung up.

* * *

><p>Knuckles set the phone down, and went back to staring at the pretty red echidna girl in the Master Emerald.<p>

* * *

><p>"Alright then..." Sonic said, "I should try calling Shadow!"<p>

"LEAVE ME ALONE, FAKER!" the shouted words sounded like they were miles away.

"Or not..."

Sonic sat still for 5.82 seconds.

"I'm bored."

* * *

><p>"Thanks!" Tails said, picking up the fifteen white T-shirts and twenty-seven pairs of red track pants he had bought for Sonic.<p>

"You're welcome little miss, but aren't they a bit big for you?" The woman at the check-out asked.

"I'm not a girl," Tails said, "And they're for my... sister."

"Oh, sorry... Fooled me, you did. Your sister must really like running."

"You have no idea..." Tails said, as he walked out of the store.

"Tails!" shrieked a voice that sounded a bit like Amy's, but different. He turned on the spot to see a male pink hedgehog wearing Amy's boots, Amy's gloves, messy quills, and green eyes running towards (and crashing into) him.

"Ow..." Tails said, getting up, "Are you okay, mister?"

"Tails, it's me!"

"Uh... Do I know you?"

"UGH! Come on!" the hedgehog said, grabbing one of Tails' tails and running. Luckily, Tails was able to hold onto the bag of clothes he was holding, as well as what remained of his dinner from the night before.

* * *

><p>Amy fumed silently. First she had woken up as a boy, and then rushed out to go to Tails' workshop in hopes he could fix her predicament. She hadn't bothered getting ready or thinking it through at all, and was now dragging Tails to his workshop.<p>

"Calm down, mister! What's going on? Wait, we're going to my workshop... How do you even know where it is?"

Amy remained silent until they reached the workshop. "Tails, it's me."

"Uh... Oh, wait... _AMY?_ First Sonic gets turned into a girl, and now this..."

"Sonic's a girl?" Amy asked, "SQUEE! I STILL HAVE A CHANCE WITH MY SONIKKU!" With that, she ran straight into the workshop, leaving Tails outside.

"Yep, definitely Amy... Hold on, if Sonic and Amy got changed, maybe others did as well..." Tails walked into his workshop to use the phone while Amy was chasing Sonic through the building. Before he could reach the phone, it started ringing.

Tails picked up the phone, "Hello?"

_"TAILS!"_ shouted a vaugely familiar voice, _"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME! I'M NOT PRETTY ANYMORE! YOU'D BETTER-"_

Tails hung up the phone, and looked at the caller ID.

"...Okay, I guess Rouge got changed too."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Sonic shouted, running through the room and out the door.

"I LOVE YOU, SONIC!" Amy shouted, chasing him, "I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT, AND NO OTHER! MARRY ME!"

"Wait! Sonic, you for-"

Sonic rushed in, grabbed an outfit from the bag, and rushed back out.

"Or not..." Tails got up, and walked to the bathroom. After the door had been locked for about half a minute, a few words could be heard from inside.

"I guess I was wrong when talking to that saleslady earlier..." Tails said, looking in the mirror to see how much of a change in appearance had come with the change in gender. He was relieved to find that he looked almost exactly the same, with only slightly rounder eyes, rounded ear-tips, and tiny eyelashes to signify the difference. "Wait, this could be the work of Eggman... If everyone got hit by that ray, then..."

* * *

><p>An immense fat lady sporting a large mustache was sitting around, being fed many eggy dishes by an army of robots.<p>

* * *

><p>Tails shuddered, "I <em>really<em> hope Eggman didn't hit himself with the ray..."


	3. Chapter 3

Luckily, Eggman had not used the ray on himself. Currently, he was watching what Sonic and friends were doing with his hidden cameras. Orbot was with him, making snide comments.

First, Eggman looked at Tails. "Why hasn't she changed? I thought that if I hit her with it, she'd be a beautiful woman..."

_"Tails is eight years old; Ergo, Tails hasn't hit puberty; Ergo, Tails doesn't look different; Ergo, you shouldn't believe what you see online."_

"Oh. Time to check on Sonic! OH HO HO HO! I wonder how she's adjusting." Eggman pressed a button, and the 'follow Sonic everywhere' camera came on.

"She's running from Amy, as usual... Where did she get those clothes? They look good. Where did Amy get that lasso? Is he trying to catch Sonic?"

_"Amy is obsessively in love with Sonic; Ergo, Amy's trying to catch Sonic."_

"I could have figured that out! Anyway, let's see what Shadow and Rouge are... Oh man, Shadow looks hilarious in that outfit, doesn't she? Do you think Rouge dressed her up in it?"

Orbot actually didn't have anything to say to that.

"Anyway, on to Knuckles... Wait, is she... She fell in love with her reflection! OH HO HO HO! This is hilarious!"

_"Doctor, where did you even get this idea? What's the point to doing this?"_

"The internet. I found stories where I do this, and I wanted to try it!"

_"You look to the internet for everything; Ergo, you're either stupid or crazy; Ergo, you should-"_

"SHUT IT, YOU!" Eggman shouted, "Hmm... I haven't gotten all of Sonic's friends with this, have I?"

_"What are you saying, Doctor?"_

"We're going to zap some people! I've modified the ray so it works faster!"

_"This will not end well."_

* * *

><p>Cream was picking flowers with Cheese when Eggman passed above unnoticed. He was noticed when he zapped her, however.<p>

"Dr. Eggman!" Cream shouted after being zapped, "Why are you here?"

"You'll find out soon, little... boy." Dr. Eggman said evilly, and laughed as he flew his Eggmobile away.

"What did he mean by that, Cheese?" Cream asked, "I'm a girl."

"Chao chao..."

"You think he turned me into a boy? That's ridiculous."

"Chao."

"Okay, I'll check... Oh no..." Cream started crying, and ran home.

* * *

><p>"YOU. MUST. SHOP!" Amy shouted, having caught Sonic with her new lasso.<p>

"WHY?"

"YOU NEED BETTER CLOTHES!"

"Tails got these!"

"Blah-blah-blah. MALL!"

"... So far, I don't like this very much," Sonic muttered.

* * *

><p>Tails flew to Angel Island, hoping that Knuckles would have a solution. He doubted it, but Knuckles was the closest.<p>

Reaching Angel Island, Tails flew around, grabbing rings, beating badniks ("Why are these still here?"), going through loops ("Whee!") swimming, and making sure that he still looked like he always did soaking wet (he did).

Finally, he reached the Master Emerald, and saw Knuckles staring at his reflection.

"Hey, Knuckles. What are you doing?"

"Staring at the pretty echidna girl in the Master Emerald."

"Uh... Knuckles? All I see is your reflection."

"You should see her, Tails... She's pretty. She's red, and has purple eyes, and her eyelashes..."

Tails looked closely, and he could see that Knuckles had gained eyelashes, but otherwise looked _exactly the same_.

"Um... Knuckles? You know that ray Eggman hit us with yesterday?"

"Yeah..." Knuckles said, drooling.

"It switched everyone's gender."

"That's nice..." Knuckles said. Three minutes of silence, and realization hit. "WAIT, SO THIS IS MY REFLECTION?" Knuckles screamed, turning to look at Tails.

"Yep."

"Why are you still a boy, then?"

"I'm not."

"You don't look different."

"I'm eight! And neither do you, you know."

"... Echidnas are just like that."

"Alright..." Tails said, a bit skeptically, "Anyway, I wanted to know if you had any idea how to fix this."

"No. Why would I?"

"Just checking," Tails said, and took flight, "You want me to get some clothes for you?"

"No!" Knuckles shouted.

Tails flew for about half a minute, and looked behind himself at Angel Island.

Knuckles had gone right back to staring at the emerald.


	4. Chapter 4

_I've got some anonymous reviews, so it's time to reply!_

**_Shadowlover:_** Maybe_ I'll have Shadow wear one of Rouge's outfits, but on the other thing... No._

_**T.A:** He fell in love with his reflection, simply. No Archie Sonic. Yep, Eggman is crazy. Kind of the point, really.  
><em>

* * *

><p>After the visit to Angel Island, Tails had gone back to his workshop to get one of the shirts he bought for Sonic. Hopefully it wouldn't be too hot, as Tails heated up very quickly while wearing clothes... And he'd also crushed one of his tails while trying to put on overalls. Having a third of your body weight crushed by clothing was not fun, and it wasn't an experience Tails would ever want to repeat.<p>

Tails left the workshop, wearing the much-too-large T-shirt, and went to his favorite hardware store to buy some supplies.

* * *

><p>"Stop dragging me!" Sonic yelled at Amy, as he was dragged along the sidewalk.<p>

"Not until I get you some better clothes!"

"I like these!"

"Well, you'll look prettier in a dress!"

"I don't want a dress!"

"Too bad! You're getting a dress, and then we're going on a date!"

"... Don't you think that might be a bit weird?"

"No, not at all. Why do you ask?"

* * *

><p>Vector and Espio were woken by the sound of Charmy buzzing around the room and talking very quickly.<p>

"Whee! Hey-guys-Eggman-came-here-a-few-minutes-ago-and-turned-us-all-into-girls!"

"Tell me he didn't just say what I think he said."

"If you think he said Eggman turned us into girls, then I'd be lying if I told you that."

Vector sat still for a few minutes, and started screaming and running around. "AAAH! I'M A GIRL! AAAH! HOW WILL WE HIDE THIS! OUR BUSINESS IS DOWN THE DRAIN!"

"Am I the only one who realizes that none of us are mammals?" Espio asked.

"AAH!" Vector screamed, ignoring Espio.

"Hey-guys-do-you-think-we-should-get-clothes-and-stuff-cuz-were-girls-oh-no-I-just-realized-we-have-cooties! Whee!"

"Eggman gave you sugar, didn't he?"

"Yeah-Eggmans-really-nice-I-love-sugar-and-being-a-girl-with-cooties!"

_Why do I get the feeling it was more than just sugar?_ Espio thought to himself.

* * *

><p><em>"Are you sure that hypnosis powder was a good idea, Doctor?"<em>

"ZAPPY!" Eggman screamed happily, shooting the ray into the jungle of the Mystic Ruins.

_"Oh, great. Someone put sugar in his scrambled eggs again. I wonder who keeps doing that?"_

* * *

><p>The Tails Doll floated innocently through the corridors of Eggman's base.<p>

"DOLL!" shouted a mechanical voice, as Metal Sonic flew down the corridor. There was a large mustache painted on his faceplate, and the rest of him was painted to look like he was wearing blue overalls and a red shirt.

The Tails Doll tried to make himself look innocent. It wasn't difficult, with him being a doll and all.

"That won't work, Tails. Now, STOP PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE!"

Tails Doll pouted, not that anyone (except maybe Tails) would have been able to tell.

"Good," Metal Sonic said, completely missing the point.

* * *

><p>"Thanks!" Tails said, collecting everything he'd bought from the hardware store.<p>

"You're welcome! You know, you look a lot like one of our regular customers... Are you by any chance related to a Mr. Miles Prower?" The man at the checkout asked.

"I'm... his sister."

"Well, nice to meet you, then." Tails shook hands with the man. "Have a nice day!"

As he walked back to his workshop, Tails wondered out loud. "How is it that adults can tell that I'm a girl, when I couldn't until I had to go to the bathroom?"

* * *

><p>"Sonic! Why did you ever put on that dress? It looks horrid on you!"<p>

"GAH!" Sonic shouted, grabbing the clothes Tails got him back from Amy and using his speed to change outfits in under a second. Before Amy could react, he ran off.

He had barely been running for three seconds when he crashed into someone. He rubbed his head, and looked up to see a frilly pink dress... With familiar shoes at the bottom.

Sonic looked up to see the face of Shadow the Hedgehog, albeit with eyelashes and a bit of a color change (every part of Shadow that had been red, including his eyes, was now pink.). He looked up further to see a pink bow on Shadow's head.

"Watch where you're going, stupid girl!" Shadow barked at Sonic, and continued on walking around, apparently looking for something.

* * *

><p>"Shadow!" Rouge shouted, "Where are you?" Rouge still looked mostly the same, other than that her upper body was... smaller and flatter... And she lacked eyeshadow and eyelashes. Her clothes were simple: A pink t-shirt and dark jeans, in addition to a pair of black sneakers.<p>

"Excuse me mister," An employee of the mall asked, "May I help you?"

"Oh, yes," Rouge said, "You see, I'm looking for my sister," The lie came easily.

"Ah. Would you mind telling me what your sister looks like?" He asked.

"Well, she's a black hedgehog, with pink streaks in her quills, a perpetually angry look, and... She was wearing an old pink dress of mine, from when I was in a play. I looked like a girl when I was younger, you see. We came to get her some new clothes, but I seem to have misplaced her."

"And what did you say her name is?"

"Shadow."

"Strange name for a girl. Anyway, I'll help you find your sister. And you are..."

"Red," Rouge lied, "Red the Bat."

"I guess your parents weren't to happy with your coloration, then."

"They never told me why I'm named that, actually."


	5. Chapter 5

_I just edited the last chapter, because of a little problem I noticed._

* * *

><p>Shadow grumbled incomprehensibly. He did not like the fact that he'd been turned into a female. The fact that he was partially pink and that Rouge's (admittedly kind of cool) outfits were too big for him, forcing him to wear pink frilly clothes, did not help matters.<p>

Then he'd had a blue hedgehog girl in track pants and a T-shirt crashed into him as he was trying to escape the horror known as the mall.

That was when a realization struck Shadow: Sonic had seen him like this.

Shadow skated off, not bothering to try and keep the dress intact. He just wanted to beat Sonic so badly he'd get amnesia.

* * *

><p>"I'm sure your friends can help you, Cream," Vanilla said, "You've done so much for them... I'm sure they'd do the same for you. I think that this is your next great adventure. Be safe, and remember that I'm proud of you."<p>

* * *

><p>Tails had built a handheld device which he hoped would counteract whatever Eggman did; as well as a large glass cylinder-looking device to turn himself back to his current form in case there were unexpected side effects... Hopefully no one else tried to go in there, it was activated by pressure.<p>

"Alright," Tails said, holding the device up and pointing it at himself, "Here goes nothing."

_ZAP!_

Tails suddenly felt very weird, and taller. He looked into the mirror to see what appeared to be his head (with eyelashes and long hair) and tails copy-pasted onto the body shape of Rouge the Bat.

Needless to say, Tails was very quick to jump into the machine that returned him to being an eight-year-old, if still female.

"Okay... That didn't work," Tails said, going back to tinkering.

* * *

><p>Big was fishing at his home in the Mystic Ruins, when a beam of light came out of the sky. Luckily, he crouched down at the last moment, allowing it to pass over his head and hit some passing birds.<p>

* * *

><p>Sonic ran into Tails' workshop, hearing sounds from another room. He walked to the actual 'work' area, and saw Tails hard at work on something.<p>

"Hey Tails," Sonic said.

Tails jumped, causing the device he was working on (Sonic noticed it looked like a water gun) to fly into the air and zap him.

"Little bro!" Sonic shouted, beginning to run forward, "Are you-oof!" Sonic had tripped over something, and looked down to see something long, furry, and orange. He followed it with his eyes back to Tails, to see that his tails had grown to be about forty feet long and were just about everywhere in the room.

"What are you doing, bro?"

"Trying to find a way to change us back," Tails said.

"Oh... Wait, that means you got changed, too, doesn't it? You don't look like a girl."

"I got that. Sonic, I need a little time alone to do this... And you're on my tail."

"Oh, sorry, bro. I'll be back soon, though. Keep up the good work!" And with that, Sonic was off.

* * *

><p>"SONIC!" shouted a familiar voice. Sonic looked up from his running to see three familiar birds on hoverboards.<p>

"Hey, Jet! Long time no see!"

"I KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS!" Jet shouted.

"With what?" Sonic asked, not understanding.

"THIS, _GIRL_!" Jet shouted, gesturing to himself. Sonic really did not understand what Jet was saying.

"Sorry, I don't get it," Sonic said, leaving the Babylon Rogues in his dust.

"I don't get it! How can he not notice?"

"Because were' birds, and he's a hedgehog?" Storm suggested.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever-"

"He has a point, you know," Wave pointed out.

* * *

><p>"Okay, male, check." Tails said, looking into the mirror.<p>

"Fox... Not so much," Tails noted, as he appeared to be a male version of Marine the Raccoon.

Tails jumped into the machine which would transform him back into a female eight-year-old fox.

"Between having only one tail and being a girl..." Tails said to no one, "I'd prefer being a girl."


	6. Chapter 6

"Alright," Tails said, "This should be ridiculously simple... Only one chromosome... So, why can't I get it right?"

He picked up the ray, and used it to zap himself.

Suddenly, his legs gave way, and he fell to the ground.

"Ow..." Tails said, rubbing his head. It felt... odd. He didn't have fur anymore, and his skin felt bumpy. He also couldn't feel his legs. He could strangely still feel his tails, though they felt different.

He looked at his stomach, to determine what had happened. "... A two-tailed snake with arms... Yep, my life is weird. I wonder if I can walk... A fox that flies, a snake that walks... Dunno."

As it turned out, Tails could walk with his tails. He went into the bathroom to see if he could tell what gender he was as a snake.

"How do reptiles tell if they're male or female, anyway?" Tails asked, as he turned himself back. He went right back to tinkering, hoping no one was getting into trouble.

* * *

><p>Shadow was having a bad day. After ripping through the pink frilly dress, it became apparent that his fans could tell who he was.<p>

"SONADOW!" A green Amy recolor shouted, keeping up with her Mary Sue powers

"KNUXADOW!" A purple Knuckles recolor in a dress shouted. Shadow was pretty sure it was a girl, but it wasn't easy to tell.

"SHAILS!"

"SONADOW IS BEST!" A huge crowd of the fan-girls screamed, some attempting to beat up the others (others remained failry rational, however, in stark contrast to what might be otherwise expected).

"Blech..." Shadow muttered, "Yoai fangirls. Seriously, aren't there any heterosexual pairings with me?" He shouted the last sentence at the crowd.

"SHADOUGE!"

"Other than that one!"

"SHADIKAL!"

"Who?"

"SHAILS!"

"Wait, Tails is a boy."

"NUH-UH! TAILS IS A GIRL! WHY ELSE WOULD SHE FOLLOW SONIC AROUND?"

"Because Tails had a horrible childhood and Sonic was the first person who was nice to him by taking him under his wing?"

"NUH-UH! YOU'RE AN IDIOT!"

Shadow finally saw the one who had spoken, and saw that it appeared to be a much older female version of Tails, who had exaggerated attractive traits.

Shadow realized something, "You're right, I am. CHAOS CONTROL!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Sonic was trying to be mediator between militant Sonamy fans and militant Sonally fans, trying to get them to settle their differences.<p>

Suffice to say, it didn't work well, and he was now being beaten up by Mary Sue powers. The non Mary-Sues were mostly yelling.

"... Maybe it's best to stay out of this..." Sonic said, "Bye girls, I gotta go!"

Right before he smashed through the sound barrier, he heard "GET HER!"

_Okay,_ Sonic thought to himself, _next time, talk to the rational ones._

* * *

><p>There were also arguments on Angel Island about who Knuckles should be with, but he was too busy staring into the mirror to notice that:<p>

A. The master emerald had been stolen.

B. The decibel level was getting very high from all the arguing.

C. The echidna girl in the mirror was him.

D. He's very forgetful.

* * *

><p>Tails zapped himself once more, hoping that he'd finally gotten it.<p>

He felt... Very weird. His body didn't really feel different in structure, but something was still off. He walked to the bathroom, noticing that his footsteps sounded kind of... Metallic?

He looked in the mirror to see a face exactly like his, except made of metal (stainless reinforced aluminum, he noted, some parts painted a rather bright yellow), with a blue grid in the place of normal eyes, and no visible mouth.

"Whoa!" Tails shouted, jumping back, "Oh... Heh heh. Okay, how did I even do that? A machine that turns living things into robots? Hmm... Best save this one. Might come in handy." His nose tingled as he said this, and he guessed that it worked as a speaker.

"Alright, I'll put this... Robo-thinger-izer, I guess, away, and get back to work." He set it down on his desk, and then realized that his 'turn-back-machine' wouldn't work on robots.

"... I can't turn back with that... does that mean no mint anymore? Wait, no... I can just reverse-engineer my other ray... It should work. Hopefully."

* * *

><p>"Vector, I don't think you need to order dresses."<p>

"But Espio, we're-"

"REPTILES AND AN INSECT! Do you know how hard it is for mammals to tell if non-mammals are male or female?"

"Uh..."

"Very hard. And how many non-mammals other than ourselves do we know?"

"The-babylon-rouges-oh-i-should-ask-them-if-they-can-get-me-more-sugar-whee!"

"What Charmy said. Look, we'll be fine. Probably."

"I hope you're right, Espio... Oh, I just thought of a way we can use this to make more-"

"No."

"But you haven't even heard my-"

"NO! Whatever it is, it's a bad idea."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Pokic: I'm not really into the whole romance thing either... It can get quite ridiculous at times.**_

_**Sorry for the wait.  
><strong>_

* * *

><p>Eggman flew his Egg-mobile towards the mystic ruins, hoping to target a specific purple cat.<p>

"This is a bad idea, boss."

"Shut up!"

Eggman found Big asleep in his house, and zapped him.

"AAUGH! MY EYES! MY EYES!" Eggman screamed, zapping Big again.

"Told you so."

"Shut up."

* * *

><p>Sonic ran past the sign at the entrance to Tails' property reading<p>

**NO SHIPPING WARS**

**NO MARY SUES IN LOVE WITH TAILS  
><strong>

**NO TAILS/MARINE**

**(At least not until I can get a DNA sample from her to be sure she isn't my alternate dimension counterpart or something)**

"Tails!" Sonic shouted, running into the house and stopping in his tracks, "Eggman must be really stupid if he expects me to fall for this..."

In the middle of the room was a Tails robot, working on a ray thing just like Tails had been earlier. It turned around to look at Sonic, and spoke in a voice exactly like Tails': "Oh, hi Sonic. Um... Well, I accidentally turned myself into a robot."

"Oh, really? Fine, tell me something only you would know."

"Your real name is Nicholas Parlouzer."

"... Alright then. How did you manage to make that?"

"Not sure, but I just finished adding the reverse function for it, so..." Tails picked it up, turned it on himself, and became a living, breathing fox again.

"Are you still a girl?" Sonic asked.

Before Tails could answer, Shadow teleported in with Rouge (who seemed quite calm about the teleportation, though not about being turned into a male) and Knuckles (who was still staring in a mirror, which was getting kind of old).

Before they could say anything, Amy smashed through the door with a changed Cream.

"Cream?" Tails asked, "You got hit with it too?"

Cream nodded. She, like Tails, hadn't changed much, but her changes were slightly more noticeable. Apart from the lack of eyelashes, Cream now had the large, protruding front teeth associated with rabbits.

"Alright," Rouge said, "Now that we're all here, we need to pick new names! I'll be Red the Bat. Now, what do you guys want?"

"That's a stupid idea," Sonic grumbled.

"Agreed..." Tails said, "Come on, most of us have ambiguous names anyway!"

"Alright, then, I'll pick," Rouge said, "Sonic, you are now Sonia!"

"That's stupid. Just changing-"

"Shut up," Rouge interrupted, "Tails, you're-"

"Sticking with Tails because it's not even my real name."

"IT'S NOT?" The shout of everyone in the room except Sonic and Tails shook the walls.

"Oh... We never got around to telling them, did we?" Sonic asked, "sweat-dropping".

"No... Er, how do you to that, anyway?"

"Do what?"

"CAN WE JUST GET THIS OVER WITH?" Shadow shouted.

"Alright, alright, hold your horses," Rouge said, walking over to Knuckles and smashing his mirror.

"HEY!"

"Knuckles, you got turned into a girl. Now we're trying to pick new names to go-"

"FISTS!"

"Of course. Alright, Amy-"

"Ami!"

"Isn't that still a girl's-"

"IT CAN BE EITHER! I WANT MY SONIKKU!"

"Alright, calm down... Geez. Okay, Shadow, how about-"

"Shade."

"We already know someone named-"

"Darkrai"

"Isn't that a Poke-"

"Silhouette."

"I think someone else used that, and, anyway, it's too long for the author to-"

"Gloom."

"ALRIGHT, FINE! You can call yourself Shade. Why must you be so difficult..."

"Maria..."

"NOT THE TIME! Alright, Cream... Sorry about that little outbursts. Now, do you have any ideas?"

"... Cake?"

"Um... Alright then. Anyone have something to say?"

"Oh! Ooh! Ooh!" Amy raised her hand and started jumping up and down.

Rouge sighed, "Yes, Amy?"

"I got clothes for the guys-turned-girls! Look at the adorable outfit I got for Tails!" she took a blue bow and overalls ending in a skirt. Before Tails could protest, Amy had forced the clothes onto him.

"Don't like clothes..." Tails grumbled to himself, "Well, at least there's no pants... they hurt."

"And this for Knuckles!" Amy shouted, pulling what appeared to be Tikal's clothing out of nowhere. Knuckles grabbed it all, and ran into Tails' bathroom.

"Okay..." Sonic said, "Let's leave Tails alone to do his work. Oh, there's an amusement park we could- WHOA!" there was a stampede out of the workshop, everyone else dragging Sonic along.

When Tails was alone, he took off the dress-overalls and dropped them on the floor. However, try as he might, the stupid bow wouldn't come out.


	8. Chapter 8

_Alright, here we go! You may have noticed my pen-name change from Center of Weirdness to weirdnessup211. That's pronounced "Weirdness Up To Eleven"._

* * *

><p>Tails picked up his next attempt, hoping that he had finally gotten it. He zapped himself, accidentally hitting his right eye.<p>

"Ow!" Tails exclaimed, slapping his hand onto his eye. After the pain - Tails had no idea why it had hurt - died down, he starting walking to the bathroom to see what had happened.

Before he reached it, his eye started twitching uncontrollably until it suddenly jumped right out of his head. Tails fell in surprise, and looked up with his remaining eye.

"Wha?" The eye bounced away at the sound, "Okay... I brought my own eye to life... It doesn't get any weirder than this."

* * *

><p>"SONIKKU!" Amy yelled, dragging Sonic away as soon as they arrived.<p>

"What a surprise," Rouge rolled her eyes at Amy's usual antics.

"Where's Miss... Mister... Amy... Ami taking Sonic?" Cream asked.

"Humph. Probably somewhere where she can 'confess' her undying love to him romantically. Also, in public, use the new names."

"Oh. Where are your clothes, Miss Shade?"

"... Crap." Shadow said, "I'll be right back. CHAOS CONTROL!"

A few seconds passed, and Shadow returned wearing Amy's dress.

"No one say a word," Shadow said.

Knuckles held up a camera and snapped a photo.

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

"... Shut up, Fists. Now, can we actually do something fun?"

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

><p>"Good boy," Tails said, walking towards his eye, "Stay, stay... Gotcha!"<p>

Tails grabbed his eye, and it started squirming in his grip. "Calm down, calm down..." Tails stroked the eye like a pet, and it relaxed, "I bet I'm the only person who's ever had to treat his own eye as a pet..."

Tails slowly walked to the bathroom, where he set his eye in the sink, "Sorry, buddy, but you need a bath," He turned the water on, carefully and quickly washing his eye.

"And... All done. Good boy... I have a cozy place for you," The eye seemed to perk up at this, "C'mon." Tails picked up the eye, and placed it back into its socket. Suddenly, he could see with both eyes again. He felt his eye snuggle into the socket and settle down.

"... Weirdest thing ever. Oh, well... Back to work." His eye twitched, "Stay calm... I'll have to think of a name for you, won't I? How about Fred?"

Fred seemed happy, though Tails wasn't sure how.

"Glad you like it... Good boy, Fred."

* * *

><p>"Whee!" Cream exclaimed, as she drove around in the bumper car.<p>

"Humph. This isn't fun," Shadow lied, as he crashed his bumper car into Cream's.

"Are you kidding?" Knuckles asked, "This is awesome!"

* * *

><p>"Oh ho ho ho! Time to randomly shoot the ray at something!" Eggman shouted, and did so.<p>

_"No comment."_

* * *

><p>"Oh, Sonic... Sonia! Let's go into the house of mirrors!"<p>

"... This is a bad idea," Sonic said, as Amy dragged him into the house of mirrors. Neither noticed when a beam of light bounced off of the mirror above the door.

* * *

><p>"Here goes nothing..." Tails said, preparing to zap himself again.<p>

After being zapped, Tails felt... Weird. He knew he hadn't succeeded, and tried to figure out what went wrong.

"Any ideas, Fred?" Fred looked down, and Tails saw that he'd grown extra arms.

"... Oh. Four arms. Alright then, better fix that." He walked over to the machine he'd built to turn himself back to normal (well, except the gender), and walked inside.

"You okay, Fred?"

Fred twitched.

"Good... I like you, and not just because you're my eye."

Fred vibrated as if he was purring.

"... Seriously, I bet no one else has their own eye for a pet... It's so weird... And kind of cool at the same time. C'mon, Fred, let's go see my friends... I need a break."

* * *

><p><em>"Told you so."<em>

"SHADDAP!"

I'll break the fourth wall here, and say I really don't want to describe Eggman... Or maybe 'Eggwoman'. You guys understand, right?

* * *

><p>"Oh, Sonikku... I'm back to normal! Oh no, I need clothes! EE-"<p>

"IT'S A MIRROR!"

"I knew that... My lovely Sonikku..."

"Amy, that's really creepy," Tails' voice came from behind.

"Tails!" Sonic shouted, "Thank goodness you're here... Did you fix the problem?"

"No, but I needed a break," Tails explained, "Also, say hi to Fred."

"Who's... EEK!" Amy shouted, "YOUR EYE JUST-"

Sonic shushed Amy, "So... You brought your own eye to life, and now it's your pet."

"... Yeah, it's weird."

"Okay. Tell me about it while we look for the others,"

* * *

><p>"Ha ha! This is too easy!" Knuckles yelled, ringing the bell by pounding a hammer once again.<p>

"It's not designed for people with super-strength," Shadow muttered.


End file.
